'Blame' is a horrible word and you should see it as such. You will never achieve personal success until you stop blaming people and events for your circumstances. You are totally responsible for your life. This is the foundation principle you must embrace if you plan for happiness and success in life and work.
One of the most empowering steps in your transformation is to choose to be responsible and accountable for yourself and your life. Realize now, that YOU are the biggest influence on what happens to you. You are the force that makes or does not make things happen. People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience joy and control of circumstances. They are able to make choices because they understand that they are responsible for their choices.
Stephen Covey, explains the difference between proactive and reactive people as, "Reactive people wait for something to happen or someone to take care of them. The proactive ones are solutions to problems, not problems themselves."
Covey believes that the language we use is an important indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. To be reactive is to use language that transfers responsibility.
Reactive language becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We inevitably start to believe our reactive speak and look for evidence to affirm it.
How to Take Responsibility for Your Life
The most important aspect of taking responsibility for your life is to acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. No one can live your life for you. You are in charge. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. Listen to the little voice in your head. And, observe yourself talking with coworkers, family members, and friends. Do you hear yourself taking responsibility or placing blame?
- Listen to the voice in your head. Eliminate blame; eliminate excuses. If the blame track or the excuse track plays repeatedly in your mind, you are shifting responsibility for your decisions and life to others.
- Second, listen to yourself when you speak. In your conversation, do you hear yourself blame others for things that don’t go exactly as you want? Do you find yourself pointing fingers at your coworkers or your upbringing, your parent’s influence, the amount of money that you make, or your spouse? Are you making excuses for goals unmet or tasks that missed their deadlines? If you can hear your blaming patterns, you can stop them.
- Third, if an individual you respect supplies feedback that you make excuses and blame others for your woes, take the feedback seriously. Control your defensive reaction and explore examples and deepen your understanding with the coworker or friend. People who responsibly consider feedback attract much more feedback.
Until tomorrow,
Samantha Prinsloo
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